Stress: Is it Good or Bad?

I submit my answer to this question: both.
This past week has been CRAZY in my family! Several big things happened; some are still in the process of happening. The biggest thing that affected the whole family was a wedding. My little brother got married...before me. And before my older brother. As much as I love my little brother and my new little sister, it's a hard thing to watch happen. Of course I'm happy for them, of course our older brother is happy for them, but it is still difficult to stand by and watch.
This is just one of the stressors that have helped bring my family closer together. Jealousy can be a hard thing, so I decided to draw closer to my brother and his new wife rather than allowing my jealousy to create a wall between us. This decision (along with their choice to reciprocate) has helped a lot in the hard situation I have been in. As things turned out, the wedding was absolutely wonderful! I was excited for my own big day, but not madly jealous like I thought I might be. The most prevalent feeling I had was joy for the new couple.
Another likely situation would have been my older brother and myself coming closer and forming an alliance against the little brother who would dare jump ahead of us. This didn't happen either because we chose to all come together. It required thought and conscious decisions. And it all has worked out beautifully!
The moral of this story is that we choose happiness. We can choose pain and disconnect, but any of these feelings really are chosen. We decide to overcome feelings by feeding more positive feelings and understanding one another or we choose to let the stress and negative feelings consume us.
Today I choose peace and an eternal friendship with my brothers and my new sister-in-law. What will you choose?
                           

Time to talk about Sexual Intimacy. I mean really talk about it.

Sexual intimacy. Yup, I said it. Now what? Do we blush, cringe, shy away, awkwardly change the subject? No. We talk about it like adults. In two of my classes this week we talked about sexual intimacy and sex education in the public school system. My roommates and I like to bring what we learn at school home and share it with each other, so I came home and talked with my apartment family about sexual intimacy within marriage A young man in my ward came over and became a part of our discussion. It wasn't awkward because we didn't make it awkward. It was a helpful conversation in which everyone contributed their own ideas and we answered each others' questions using doctrine. It was a very good talk that I believe people need to have before marriage. I do not believe in silence about sex. It can definitely be over-discussed and wrongly discussed, but if parents don't teach their children the appropriate way to discuss intimacy then they will surely learn the inappropriate ways from the media or peers.
Something that struck me this week is that I can teach my children about sexual intimacy along with the Holy Temple (of my LDS faith). Both are wonderful things that will help us become eternally happy, things we really do need at the appropriate times, and things we must wait for. This epiphany helped change my perspective on parenting and teaching and went along with the saying I once heard: "Sex isn't something to avoid because it's bad; it is something to wait for because it is so good."

These parents know what's up... or do they?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/people-who-are-really-nailing-this-parenting-thing

I want to know what people think of these. There are some I think are really great, while most are just obviously awful.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/40-really-awesome-parents

These are mostly just funny.

Unbiological Families

Family is so diverse and so necessary! I was talking to a very close friend today who I generally refer to as my brother. I think of him as a brother and it helps keep people from asking if we're dating, so we've been "siblings" for years. This recently brought up an issue with a teacher who thought that I should be dating John (my "brother") since we are so close. The fact is, we've talked about that a lot. Everyone who knew us for a few years thought we would be perfect for each other. Neither of us is interested in dating the other and we both are aware of what a bad couple we would be, especially as parents.
As I was thinking of the whole unbiological family issue, I realized that we really crave those family ties. I've become very close to some of my home evening groups and have several friends I consider my family. Some of them I wish were my family and others I am fine with just claiming now. The point of this, though, is that we NEED family, whether they are related or not. So, find a family where you are and love them the way they deserve to be loved. You'll feel better with those close ties. I do!
Picture 1 is of my biological family and the others are all of friends who have become family after a lot of time  together.

Hands Free Mothering

http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/05/22/the-important-thing-about-yelling/

This is an interesting blog that someone shared with me through a group I am a member of. I liked the mother's ideas quite a lot and agree that yelling severs relationships. I only have a few memories of being yelled at as a child, but they all involve hiding and crying. Even when others yelled at each other, I still cried.
An experience I had in a daycare I used to work in helped me realize that there are occasions to raise your voice. There were four teachers working with the after-school children and I was the quiet one. The otehr teachers all had children of their own and were years older than I. I had just graduated from high school and was barely 18. All of the other teachers yelled consistently to be heard in the large center with so many children and so much noise. I was the one who talked to children more individually and quietly. One day the children were not listening at all and I raised my voice enough to be heard by all in the room. They all, teachers included, stopped what they were doing and really paid attention to me. The other teachers were dumbfounded. They didn't realize I knew how to be heard; they didn't realize that I saved my loud voice for times when I needed it. It's like people who swear all the time; they don't get taken seriously because it's not new, not a shock, and therefore ineffective.
This being said, the times to use a loud voice are few and far between. Parents need to really be getting attention to necessitate yelling, in my mind. A child who is about to walk into danger and needs to realize what's happening is a valid reason, but if a child is looking at a parent the way the author of this blog describes, with fear of a parent in his eyes, that is the time to rethink yelling, or any form of punishment being employed.

Motherhood and overcoming trials

I found this video the other day and have watched it a few times since then. I feel it's a great depiction of motherhood, and it shows the hard part: the sleepless nights, the exhaustion that comes from parenting. It also shows the joy that cannot be found any other way.

This gem was given to me by a teacher when I went to his office in an attempt to find peace with my current situations. At the point when he is talking to his younger self and he looks right at the camera with tears in his eyes, I just bawled. He was talking directly to me. I hope this provides the same feeling of comfort and the same drive to keep going that it did for me.

A happier view of parenting

http://womenlivingwell.org/2013/04/having-babies-in-opposite-world/

I had someone share this with me and loved it, so I thought I'd pass it along.

A little taste of some research on "common knowledge" about marriage

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-view/blogs/love-relationships/30-Day-Love-Detox

It was nice to watch this and hear that research is proving what I already know to be true about marriage. If any of you have read this book or done any research on the subject(s) please comment. I want to know more! And I want to get my hands on her book The 30 Day Love Detox.

New Blogger, Ready to Rumble...With Your Help

Hey, my name is Dawn and I am in a college course called Family Relations. This blog is starting as an assignment, but will hopefully become a lot more than that. Just so you know, I'm new to this and will accept any pointers from seasoned bloggers. Here we go!